On Your Own Terms
This year, one of our sons realized he would miss Thanksgiving because of participating in an international tournament. Thanksgiving is one of our most favorite holidays: extended family and friends around the table, the roasted turkey in the oven, our traditional sourdough bread stuffing (remember to always make double), candied yams from the recipe of one of our children’s mentors, and all of us being in one place at the same time. It wouldn’t be the same for us without our kiddo being away.
So, we did the only reasonable thing: we moved Thanksgiving.
We created a full Thanksgiving experience in mid October, four weeks ‘ahead of proper schedule’, when all the kids were home for the fall break, and our extended family graciously agreed to turn a regular get-together into a Thanksgiving celebration.
It was slightly surreal, but it also made perfect sense to us, as the exact date was never the point.
The experience made me think about the way we make important things happen at work and at home despite terrible timing, competing priorities, and very real and hard-wired constraints. Perfect timing does happen sometimes, but more commonly, the things that matter most tend to surface when our calendars are already full, the budgets are tight, and energy is stretched thin.
How do we move forward to make room for what matters with low resources and high constraints? Our early Thanksgiving offers some ideas, relevant at work as well as at home (warning: don't expect "the right answers", just ideas).
1. What matters should guide what happens.
We could not change the tournament schedule, but we could protect the spirit of what matters to us as a family. In leadership, the idea is the same: start with what is absolutely essential, protect the core of it, and let the logistics fall in line. Lead with meaning, and the practical steps will reveal themselves, albeit in unexpected ways.
2. Even rigid plans often have pockets for improvisation. Use them.
We did not reschedule fall. We accepted that the traditional version would not work this year. We simply found one opening in an otherwise packed calendar and used it. At work, leaders often discover that even the most structured plans have pockets of flexibility for improvisation. The real work is noticing where these pockets are and choosing to act on them.
3. Create the connection by meeting people where they are.
Our son could not make it home in late November, so we met each other where we are, bending the traditional timeline. The result was not ‘an early holiday’, but ‘the right holiday’ for this year for our family. Connections become possible when you respond to real circumstances instead of insisting on the version you imagined. This applies to families and teams equally.
Moving Thanksgiving reminded me that making important things happen is about noticing what matters and having the courage to shift when the moment calls for it.
Here's the kicker: you will probably forget the ideas that I just listed above, but you will remember this story of 'Thanksgiving in October'. It is perfect: Remembering the story will every time trigger your own ideas for making important things happen in your life, on your own terms, constraints or not.
If this shift in our tradition reminded you of someone who created a meaningful moment in your life by shifting seemingly inflexible constraints, please share this article with them. It is a lovely way to let them know that you remember their kindness and ingenuity.
With gratitude,
Alina
Dr. Alina Bas, PCC
Executive Coach & Strategist
Adjunct Professor, NYU Graduate School of Arts and Science
https://AlinaBas.com/schedule
Alina@AlinaBas.com
NEWS & UPDATES
This semester, I get to do one of my favorite things: teach at NYU Graduate School of Arts in Science, in the Industrial / Organizational Psychology Master's program. The course is called Personnel Selection. I know a lot of professors are complaining that students don't read. I have to brag: my students read and ask fantastic questions. Also, I'm deeply grateful to industry experts who have agreed to speak to the students about cutting-edge developments in Talent Acquisition.
APPLIED INTUITION (holiday shenanigans)
For those of you who have known me over the years, you know that in addition to serious corporate work and teaching at NYU, I am also an intuition researcher and practitioner. Since the holidays seems like a great time to get into some fun mischief, I am opening a very limited number of individual 60- minute Applied Intuition Consultations via Zoom at $159 instead of the usual $300. An intuitive session is an energy filled consultation based on sensing as a way of knowing; it helps you get insights and attune to patterns or possibilities not accessible through analytical reasoning. Bring your questions and intentions, and we will develop actionable ideas for them by tapping into intuiting (yes, it's a 'real thing'). This session makes a great holiday gift for yourself or for a friend.
How to claim one of the few available spots:
Go to AlinaBas.com/schedule
Select Consulting Hour
Enter code HelpThanksWow25 and click Apply
Before you hit Continue, click Add Note and write Applied Intuition Session
The offer expires December 5, 2025 (or once the spots run out - whichever comes first). You may schedule your session anytime within a year.
Brief note: Intuition is a natural extension of our senses. There is strong evidence for intuiting, yet no complete scientific model for producing intuition on cue. Still, like a musical ear or analytical reasoning, ability to intuit can be developed with practice, and I have been working on it for over 20 years.
NEWSLETTER
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